2. If you want your kids to run away and play, pull out a hair brush and try to comb their hair. Or for boys, do some spit cleaning on their face. Off they go....Or start grinding wheat. Superloud, lots of dust, kids will stay away for at least 10, maybe 15 minutes. Then you bust out the real candy...
4. If you've lost something and it's bugging you, go buy a replacement already. The old one will show up approximately two days after you buy a new one. Guaranteed.
5. If your kids are bored while you're in the car, teach them this song: "The Addams family started when Mrs Addams farted...then they all became retarded...the Addam's Family..." One of John's faves.
6. If your kids are bored with their toys, clean out from: under the couch, under the bed, the back of their closet, behind the entertainment center. Most toys hidden there have been in hiding for 6 months. And preserved well. You might even score a vintage sippy cup.
Now, go be awesome!