Parenthood isn’t for sissies

Any random magazine article on motherhood is likely to acknowledge and bemoan the fact that motherhood involves being a cook, a chauffeur, a preschool teacher, a laundress and a maid. You might remember my post on the athletic and balance skills needed to be a parent, when I discussed “Minute to Win It”.  I’ve recently been pondering how many duties of being a parent require skills from professions totally unrelated.

To be a parent, you’ll need….
To take the heat like a Frying Pan- Your children’s tantrums and threats must slide off your back, even though you’re in the middle of church and everyone is staring. Not to mention well meaning family member’s humble suggestions on how you can be a better mother or father.
To keep on trucking like a snow shovel- Cleaning up toys while kids are at home is like shoveling the sidewalk while it’s still snowing. Many days a week it’s like a blizzard around my house. You still have to do it. And get your children to clean up.
A SWAT team skill set-  at some point in your parenting career, you’ll talk down a child from running to the table with a steak knife, have little sister put the scissors down away from her brother’s hair, talk down a toddler stranded at the top level of the playground with dozens of kids behind him, and teach a child how to unlock the door from the other side of the locked door. Just keep your voice calm and keep your hands where I can see them, kids…
An internal time that rivals the Swiss- Children have no sense of internal time. By their 5th birthday, they know your counting means business, that mom says “5 minutes to go”, twenty minutes before she’s done talking to her friends, and that  “I’ll be back in five minutes” is not exactly counting to 60 five times.
A Gardener’s skill set- Being a parent means planting new ideas in your child’s mind, plucking out ideas before they develop, and giving lots of sunshine and open air to let their imaginations run wild. Pruning and redirecting become second nature as your children grow up.
A Shepherd’s eye- only it’s not sheep, it’s cats. Kids have the amazing ability to go in twice as many directions as there are children.
What do you think, readers? What skills have you developed since becoming a parent?